Shipwreck

There's a story of a man at sea
Who gave his name to a white whale
He called it destiny
But it was something he just couldn't release

I had my own whale
No flesh, no bone
Just pressure in my lungs
A shadow I kept chasing
Across an endless horizon
I mistook pride for strength
Silence for control
Loneliness for independence

Years in open water
Rowing against the tide
Against the wind
Against myself

June split the hull inside my chest
August drained what still could float
By September I came back smaller
Alive
But nowhere close to whole

I said it was ambition
I said it was a calling
But it was fear
Of not being enough alone

I kept hunting my white whale
Naming every wound "a war"
Calling every loss "a lesson"
While I drifted farther from shore
And the harder I fought
The deeper I sank

You never asked me to win
You never asked me to fight
You never asked me to prove
I was worth staying beside
But you didn't drop an anchor either
You didn't cage me
Didn't drag me to safety
You just stood there

At the end of my unlit street
Rain falling, steady heartbeat
Saying we could face it
If I chose to stay

And for the first time
I let the harpoon fall
For the first time
I stopped chasing the horizon
For the first time
I chose you