I Do Not Live

We go in circles all the time.
We placate each other with rituals.
We never think of breaking out,
because it hurts us in our heads.

Why can't I ever wake up and be?
What is it that I can never see?

When we are talking we are false.
When we are working we are real.
If we can trust, then let us strive
to remember that we're ourselves.

Why do you torment me with the past,
when at any time death may find us?

Though death stalks me, I do not live.
Though death taunts me, I do not give.

I know that you are using me.
You have a need you can't explain.
I let you use me though it hurts,
and never let you know you are.

I am also using you using me.
We're just like two laboratory rats.

Walking through the moldering death of aeons,
feeling time's cold breath,
knowing that it does not care.

Only with this knowledge
can I know who I am.
Only when I know death
do I know I'm alive.

We go in circles all the time.
We placate each other with rituals.
We never think of breaking out,
because it hurts us in our heads.

Why can't I ever wake up and be?
What is it that I can never see?

Though death stalks me, I do not live.
Thought death taunts me, I do not give.
Though death stalks me, I do not live.
Thought death taunts me, I do not give.

I know that you are using me.
You have a need you can't explain.
I let you use me though it hurts,
and never let you know you are.

I am also using you using me.
We're just like two laboratory rats.