pain for fun (feat. St. Vincent)

There's always and always and always and always a need
There's always and always and always and always a need
When I see you smile? There's always that familiar feeling
Somehow, I'm not the only one, oh
There's always and always and always and always gonna be
There's always and always and always and always a need
When you start to cry, I get that familiar feeling
Somehow, I'm not the only one, oh-oh

I was so close to tears
I'm bitin', holdin' back
I'm so happy, I could break down and cry
Break down and cry
So alone, and so at home
So alone, and so at home

I'm always and always and always and always a need
I'm always and always and always and always a need
When we lock eyes, I hit my head on the ceiling
I'm not the only one, oh

Always wanting something, yearning
Feeling different, undeserving
What am I, what am I now?
And if I catch a glimpse of you, wanna hide
Would you walk away from me and kill my pride?
It's hard
'Cause I feel this pain for fun, ah-ah

I'm so close to tears
I'm bitin', holdin' back
I'm so happy I could break down and cry
Break down and cry
So alone and so alone
So alone and so alone