The Contortionist

as I begin to sink into this fate that I have tried so hard
to tread while you sit with your magazines
your cigarettes your apathy
as we continue downward into lukewarm discontent
descending side by side as retrospect and
time devour our thoughts and our long nights
with such civilized but brutal taste in suffering
and self disgrace your disappointment paints
your eyes a darker shade of brown and your
poor excuses reek of such expensive wine
while my replies of cowardice get molded
into forgiveness for everything you said and
everything you did i have failed to forgive you for
either i tried but i failed to forgive any aspects of
either fairweathered friend how could these eyes
ever forget those lustfull nights seeing your lips
pressed against theirs as i tried to forget
i tried but failed i begin to sink into this fate
that i have tried so hard to tread because
apparently i'm much too dense your much
too tired and oh so stressed ignoring all these
words that i am struggling to say so put down
your pill bottles put down your glass of wine
put down all of your magazines
and look me in the eye and
tell me that your happy tell me
this is what you wanted from me because
it's everything i have and everything
i can afford such curteous envy
i tried but i failed to forgive
any aspects of either she never said
she wants it all i bet she does i bet she does