Expert On Everything

I can tell you how to end a war that's forty years old
I can draw you every border, I've got theories to be sold
I know who should be running every country on the map
Ask me anything, I promise I have got a take on that
I can solve the Middle East between my coffee and my toast
I've got the whole thing figured out, I'm basically a ghost
Of a guy who used to know how to just sit in a chair
'Cause there's a war on every screen and I've got skin in every one out there

But the sink's been broken since July
And I've been walking right on by
Yeah, I've been walking right on by

I'm an expert on everything
Except the stuff in front of me
Got a PhD in the whole wide world
And I'm failing geography
I'm an expert on everything
Got it all worked out
Somebody tell me why the smartest guy
Don't know what his own life's about

There's a woman in the kitchen who's been laughing in my face
Says: You fixed the whole entire world, now come and fix this place
And the dogs don't care who's winning any argument I've won
They just want the door to open and they want it to be fun
So I put the whole planet down on the counter for a while
And the sky stayed where it was and everything turned out fine
Turns out it kept on spinning when I wasn't on the case
Turns out it never needed me, it just needed me in place

And the sink's still broken, it's still July
But I'm not walking by
No, I'm not walking by

I'm an expert on everything
Except the stuff in front of me
Got a PhD in the whole wide world
And I'm failing geography
I'm an expert on everything
Got it all worked out
Somebody tell me why the smartest guy
Don't know what his own life's about

Hey (hey)
Put it down (put it down)
Hey (hey)
Look around (look around)
Hey (hey)
It's right here (it's right here)
It's been right here the whole damn year

I could win a hundred fights tonight with strangers on a feed
And still not be the guy that anybody here would need
So I'm handing back the whole world, I'm resigning from the throne
I've got a smaller job now
And it's the only one I own
It's the only one I own

I'm an expert on nothing
And that's the smartest I could be
Got a PhD in right here
And I'm finally gonna get my degree
I'm an expert on nothing
Shut the whole world out
And the dumbest thing I ever did
Was not know what my life was about

Put it down, look around

Put it down, look around
(It's been right here)
Put it down, look around
It's been right here the whole damn year