Nine Years In

It was 2016, I can't tell you what he said
Something at a birthday that went sideways in my head
I remember being certain, I remember being loud
He told me he was sorry, and I left before the crowd

Then a month became a year, and I just let the quiet grow
Never made a single call and never let him know
Nobody has to do a thing to lose a twenty-year friend
You just stop, and then you can't, and then it's at an end

I was angry nine whole years
At a man who slept just fine
I kept a case I never sent
And I read it line by line
And the worst of it, the truth of it
Is the man I meant to burn
Never even felt the fire
And I'm the only one to learn

There were nights it kept me up, there were months I couldn't take
It got into everything I did and every choice I'd make
It made me mean, it made me small, it made me hard and old
And I called it having standards, but I knew I'd just gone cold

And I don't know how to say this any plainer than it sounds
You wake up on a Tuesday, and it's suddenly come clear
The only man who ever paid a dollar of that debt
Is the man who's standing here

I was angry nine whole years
At a man who slept just fine
I kept a case I never sent
And I read it line by line
And the worst of it, the truth of it
Is the man I meant to burn
Never even felt the fire
And I'm the only one to learn

I looked him up last summer
He's got two kids and a wife
He looks happy in the pictures
And I'm glad about his life

I'm not gonna go and call him
Nine years is a lot of ground
Some things you don't get back
You just quit dragging them around

So if there's someone you're not speaking to
And the reason's worn away
Call them while it's early
Call them while they'll stay

Because the door don't stay open
And it won't give you a sign
It just closes one afternoon
And you notice down the line

Call them (while they'll stay)
Call them (while they'll stay)
Some things you don't get back