Dizzy Paranoia Girl

Expectations high from the start
I'll just mess it up
Congratulations, you fell apart
Fuck, I messed it up

They tell me I just need to grow up
But I know that they think that I'm not enough
Pirouette your view and you'll see

There's no cure for burnt-out and naive (it's killing me)
Spinning all around, I think I spun out
My fault by default
Thoughts racing up and down, oh, what to do now?
Follow protocol

But I hate this, I don't wanna play ball
I just wanna end this once and for all
Panic all around, but never make a sound
Emotional free fall

Stab me with an iv
Tell me that it's to protect me
Tell me I should be ignoring
Everything that makes me bleed

Cynicism inbound
Common sense nowhere to be found
I'll bottle up the thought that
I'd be better off left underground

It's not my decision if I make it through the night
And I keep crashing through collisions like a dying parasite
Love is an incision that cuts deeper than a knife
But I'll still see it in my vision till the afterlife

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Laugh through every day
No matter what I do, nobody has a clue
Life's always been this way
I hate, hate, hate this arbitrary game
No matter what you heard
You'll never hear the words nobody dares to say

Say you'll be my friend to the very end
But I'm in my head, in my head, and I'm seeing red
In a superficial ecosystem, recognize the repetition
Otherwise, you'll end up dead

I'll underestimate (overcompensate)
Circumstantiate (hyperventilate)
Rehabilitate (decontaminate)
Losing at the games I told you I don't wanna play

Expectations hitting the ground
My fault by default
No one left to catch me when I fall down
No more protocol

Feel it in my cells, my final farewell
An antidote, my stairway to hell
Panic all around, but now I'm yelling out
The one thing I recall

Stab me with an iv
But I know you won't protect me
And I can't keep on ignoring
When you make me wanna bleed

Cynicism inbound
Common sense nowhere to be found
I'll bottle up the thought that
I'd be better off left underground

It's not my decision if I make it through the night
And I keep crashing through collisions like a dying parasite
Love is an incision that cuts deeper than a knife
But I'll still see it in my vision till the afterlife

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Laugh through every day
No matter what I do, nobody has a clue
Life's always been this way
I hate, hate, hate this arbitrary game
No matter what you heard
You'll never hear the words nobody dares to say

Think I'm at the end of a road traveled far too long
And I keep screaming out the lyrics of this idiotic song
Hate me just because I never wanna play along
But I don't wanna live a life where I live in the wrong

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Laugh through every day
No matter what I do, nobody has a clue
Life's always been this way
I hate, hate, hate this arbitrary game
No matter what you heard
You'll never hear the words nobody dares to say

I'll take a final breath so they can all pretend
They loved me yesterday